Meatheads is Messing with Me!
Have you ever heard of the saying, “Kill them with kindness?” Well, Tom Jednorowicz from Meatheads Restuarant has and he is using it on me.
After posting a sassy little blog entry about one of his restaurants, I got one of the most gracious and practical responses I could have imagined. It's killing me.
Perhaps the real note is in a trash bucket on his computer or in tatters in some landfill. I'm certain there is a cleansing letter his mother taught him to write, then destroy. In it he calls me a bored, spoiled, under-engaged, over-functioning, chubby, suburban white-bread, old navy wearin’, credit card wieldin’, mini-van driven, antiquated, thinks-you-know-everything-because-you-toiled-away-in-advertising-designing-billboards-and-jingles-before-Al-Gore-invented-the-internet, chick-a-dee.
I haven’t had the guts to show my face at Meatheads Restaurant again although it is located right next to my regular pit stops at the busy corner of Route 59 and 75th Street in Naperville: Costco, Starbucks, Home Depot, Whole Foods, Chase Bank, Noodles and Nordstrom Rack. Every time I cruise by I try to see what is happening inside. Are there customers? Are those two guys still playing office in the dining area?
The lights are still on. There are cars in the parking lot. There are customers with winter coats stacked in chairs next to them, but no guys in shirt sleeves with laptops and cell phones.
Of course everyone in my family knows that I have a complimentary $50 Meatheads gift card burning a hole in my penny pinching pocket. I originally joked that I was going to give it to our 18 year old son, Jonathan, and a bunch of his obnoxious friends. (I mean that with love, guys.) But that didn’t seem meaningful enough and it seemed unnecessarily cruel to the crew at Meatheads. (Ooops. There I go again, slandering my teenager. Sorry, again J-Bear and buddies.)
Instead, this is what I have decided to do. I am going to use this gift card to feed another suburban family (up to six people) at Meatheads. The catch is that you have to eat with me and my family!
Just send me a quick email at firstname.lastname@example.org by March 1 with the word MEATHEADS in the subject line and I’ll pick a winner and be in touch, soon.
I can’t wait to here from y’all!